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Worst day of our lives…

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Man. Thinking over the last two days is so unbelievably exhausting. So painful. And, without trying to sound overly dramatic, so incredibly traumatic.

People always describe watching your child in pain — when you can’t do anything to help — as the worst thing to experience as a parent. Well we got a very real glimpse of that. A couple days ago, Clive got circumcised…

Disclaimer: This always starts wild debates from the anti-snip crowd (who are less concerned with truth and more concerned with forcing their moral opinions on others at all costs), so let me try and stop you before you jump on me by saying that I know that penises don’t fall off if they aren’t circumcised. I know that many, many countries don’t practice circumcision. I hear that it’s now the majority even in the States. And I am really just fine with not circumcising your child. Heck, if I were raising my child in a different country, I might not have circumcised him. But since circumcisions are relatively painless now (thanks to anesthesia), we are planning on raising our kids in the States (where being uncircumcised is still viewed as being gross by so many [uneducated] women — and men), and I don’t consider it genital mutilation like female “circumcision” is, we figured we would go with circumcision. Not to mention the countless first person online stories I’ve read of teenage boys feeling completely ashamed, having sexual problems, extreme pain (due to the head of the penis remaining as membrane — much like the eyeball), and men who weren’t circumcised as children getting circumcised as adults — and preferring it. I couldn’t find any who regretted their decision. So… moving on…

The circumcision went flawless. Clive was more upset about the temperature of the room than he was having his little weener cut up :) He actually didn’t even flinch or blink when they did the cutting! Everything was great. And even after the painkiller wore off, he still showed no signs of pain. That was until his 3rd or 4th diaper change. Just thinking back to that makes me… I can’t even describe the emotion. Rage isn’t right because I wasn’t upset at anyone. Let’s just say “not good” — but in a very serious way. Out of nowhere, Clive started screaming and convulsing. It wouldn’t stop. It was nothing like his cries when he got his shots. Nothing like when he came out of the womb. Nothing like anything he’d done yet. It was a deep cry — totally from pain. It was evident through his entire body. We changed his diaper and found what we thought might be the problem. When the diaper came off, it had stuck to his little penis. We think it almost ripped off, if that makes sense — causing severe discomfort and pain. The other diapers didn’t stick, so we really didn’t know what happened this time.

As time went on, it only got worse. After an hour, his body was beet red and his hair (and body) was wet from sweating — all from the pain. Lindsay was evidently traumatized — but totally staying with Clive through it. I managed to keep cool on the outside, but it was taking a bigger toll on me than I could have imagined. You always hear about people dealing with watching their children go through pain — but I never imagined it would be that painful for me. I think my most painful experience would probably be the couple of kidney stones I’ve had. I remember thinking that I would sign on the dotted line without a second thought, trading his pain for a solid week of kidney stone pain, if only it were possible.

At this point, Lindsay is just constantly fighting back the tears (and, for the most part, losing the battle). After some 20 solid minutes of screaming, convulsing, and sweating, Clive would get maybe one minute of relief by nursing with Lindsay — and that circle would just repeat itself. I wanted to take Clive and let Lindsay go take a bath so she could just have a break from the screaming — but we knew that there was no comfort alternative for Clive like nursing was. There was no way I could have left him so that I could have a moment of relief — and Lindsay, in total agony, still felt the exact same way. I think many women would have (understandably) required a break just so they wouldn’t melt down. I think Lindsay preferred to meltdown with Clive instead of leave him even for a moment.

I just can’t state enough how painful it was seeing my tiny, little son screaming. Seeing his body jolt back and forth — clearly in real pain. We called the doctor and were told we could give him a good dose of tylenol for youngsters. We did that. And by now, I was prepping his diapers with vaseline before Lindsay would bring him in. I’m not a real crier on the outside — but when I would shut the door and get Clive’s diaper ready, alone for a brief moment, I would have to take a deep breath and put real effort into not breaking down.

As the night went on, the heavy doses of vaseline seemed to kick in. An hour and a half went by without a peep. We were so unbelievably relieved for our baby boy to have a moment of peace — but at the same time we were terrified that the next diaper change might bring about the same thing all over again. Now we know that the problem was his penis sticking to the 3rd diaper, but at the time we weren’t sure if that was it or if he was simply having a harder healing time — and that we would simply have to wait it out. Just having to accept that our son would be going through this over the next couple days with little help from us. We were hoping and praying so badly that the latter wouldn’t be the case.

The next diaper change came up. Terrified doesn’t even describe it. I kid you not I would have paid almost any amount of money for the guarantee that my son wouldn’t have to go through what he had just gone through all afternoon. We both had to work together in order to make sure he remained as comfortable as possible. The change went well, considering how bad it was earlier, at least. Within a few minutes of changing, he was still breathing a bit heavy and having that come down from being in pain sort of cry. However, it was night and day from before. He’d gone over an hour without pain, got changed, and within probably fifteen minutes was no longer screaming or crying. With each diaper change through the night, it just got easier and easier on him.

Around 4am, Lindsay and I just looked at each other and realized something that we couldn’t have ever known before. That all the money in the world can’t buy the peace, happiness, and unbelievable contentment that a child so freely brings when he (or she) is safe, healthy, and not in pain. All night I had been thinking off and on about parents who’s children are going through much worse. My heart broke for them like it never had before. I had a tiny glimpse into their lives — and my heart just broke for them.

Clive is doing much better with the pain now — but the experience is still visible on him. He was much, much needier all day Thursday. Constantly yearning to be held. Suckling for hours but not getting much milk (so just nursing for the comfort of it). Lindsay is feeling so much better — but definitely is still unsettled. We both believe he’s fine now — but that fear of something happening to Clive to make him go back to what he was experiencing? It’s still there. Even if it’s irrationally there, it’s there.


Clive finally sleeping on Wednesday night. First time in several hours for the little guy :)


The dogs knew something was up. They didn’t like it one bit. Here’s Trouble yesterday just resting with Clive — it seemed like he just wanted to be near him ;)

So today we have a new outlook on our son. Even more than we did before, we are just so incredibly thankful for his pain free moments. So grateful as we watch him sleep peacefully. So happy that, aside from this painful hiccup, our son is healthy and safe. And as much as we felt we loved our baby boy before, I think we were both shocked — and almost scared — about how much we really love him. How much either of us would do anything for him at the drop of a hat. Loving someone that much can be quite terrifying if you let the nagging fears of what COULD happen to them haunt you. We’re going to do our best to ignore the fear that comes with loving someone this much — and instead pay attention to the fun that exists with loving your child :)

Bobby

p.s. I just want to be clear that this was NOT a normal byproduct of circumcision. This was user error at it’s best (or worst, I should say). We either made the mistake by not putting enough vaseline on or some sort of freak accident happened with that third diaper to cause an abnormal amount of bleeding (which led to clotting with the diaper and, finally, sticking and being ripped apart).

UPDATE: Clive is doing great. Ever since we began putting on more vaseline that first night after that third diaper where he stuck to it (now putting vaseline in the diaper AND on his little penis), he’s not stuck to the diaper in the slightest. This has led to him sleeping and eating normally with no more abnormal crying :) So we had about 4 rough, terrible hours — and then relative smooth sailing from there. So had we not made the vaseline mistake, he would have been fine the entire time. Frustrating that we could have done something to stop the whole thing from ever happening, but just so thankful that he’s so much better and that we didn’t have to deal with what we were dealing with for several days (like we were afraid might be the case if it was just a normal reaction to circumcision).

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Debbie Spencer Mann - Poor little guy, glad he is doing better!! Being a parent is hard work, it will give you the greatest joy, and sometimes, the greatest sadness. There is NOTHING like seeing your child in pain and feeling helpless....Cli​ve has 2 wonderful and loving parents, he is a lucky little guy!!October 15, 2010 - 12:00 am

Stephanie Trevisan Feese - Awww, I am so sorry guys! I totally understand where you are coming from. Both of our boys have had several surgeries and long stays in the hospital. It is just so hard when you feel like there is nothing you can do to help them. I am happy to report that for the most part we have 2 very healthy happy little guys. We have so much to be thankful for even when we have a bad day, I know that some one else has it harder. Love is an amazing thing! Now go glob some goop on those diapers... for like 2 weekOctober 15, 2010 - 3:10 am

Stephanie Trevisan Feese - Awww, I am so sorry guys! I totally understand where you are coming from. Both of our boys have had several surgeries and long stays in the hospital. It is just so hard when you feel like there is nothing you can do to help them. I am happy to report that for the most part we have 2 very healthy happy little guys. We have so much to be thankful for even when we have a bad day, I know that some one else has it harder. Love is an amazing thing! Now go glob some goop on those diapers... for like 2 weeks! lolOctober 15, 2010 - 3:10 am

Brooke Bennett Kinchen - Bobby i finally can say i totally understand. While my boys arent being circumcised yet they are laying in NICU in incubators with wires and needles in them. Its amazing how someone so little can cause you the deepest pain you have "NEVER" imagined possible. It's all so crazy how in just one moment of time, their arrival, your whole life of emotions, love, desire and protection can change!!!! So glad your little man has made it through his ordeal..!!! And we cant wait to hold our little monkOctober 15, 2010 - 4:00 am

Brooke Bennett Kinchen - Bobby i finally can say i totally understand. While my boys arent being circumcised yet they are laying in NICU in incubators with wires and needles in them. Its amazing how someone so little can cause you the deepest pain you have "NEVER" imagined possible. It's all so crazy how in just one moment of time, their arrival, your whole life of emotions, love, desire and protection can change!!!! So glad your little man has made it through his ordeal..!!! And we cant wait to hold our little monkeys!!!October 15, 2010 - 4:00 am

Amber Corneto Watson - From my own experience of almost losing my oldest son to a "mystery disease" I find it pretty amazing how our primal instinct kicks in and we will do anything in the universe to fix what is hurting our offspring... Gland he's feeling betOctober 15, 2010 - 7:09 am

Amber Corneto Watson - From my own experience of almost losing my oldest son to a "mystery disease" I find it pretty amazing how our primal instinct kicks in and we will do anything in the universe to fix what is hurting our offspring... Gland he's feeling better :)October 15, 2010 - 7:09 am

Julianna Koh - Aw... hope Clive feels all good soon. Good on Trouble - he's such a loyal dog! Regards to you and Lindsay.October 15, 2010 - 12:31 am

Anna Kim - Ouch! Poor kid....I do hope he recovers from it quickly. Thank you for sharing, it's a real insight into parenthood.October 15, 2010 - 12:38 am

Gilda Adler - we had the same experience. when you have a wound and pee on it, it burns...some kids have higher level of pain tolerance, some lower. it does go away fast...in like 7 dOctober 15, 2010 - 9:35 am

Debbie Spencer Mann - Poor little guy, glad he is doing better!! Being a parent is hard work, it will give you the greatest joy, and sometimes, the greatest sadness. There is NOTHING like seeing your child in pain and feeling helpless....Clive has 2 wonderful and loving parents, he is a lucky littleOctober 15, 2010 - 10:16 am

Laura Mosedale - I love being able to read about you guys becoming parents and all of the things that come along with it. Thank you for the way you openly share, and for the way you articulate your feelings. So glad your boy is feeling betOctober 15, 2010 - 11:39 am

Laura Mosedale - I love being able to read about you guys becoming parents and all of the things that come along with it. Thank you for the way you openly share, and for the way you articulate your feelings. So glad your boy is feeling better :)October 15, 2010 - 11:39 am

Mike Oechsner - dude reading this actually made me tear up (yea im not all big and tough like you bobby!) just thinking about the pain that iv put my parents thru over the years and all. thanks for sharring puts things in perspective. and im sure clive is gonna LOVE this post when hes in highschool and someone finds it in the old facebook posOctober 15, 2010 - 11:52 am

michelle arms - Oh guys, how terrifying this must have been. I read your post earlier, came out of the room and saw that Luke was reading it too and we both looked at each other with feelings of bewilderment. We have no where near had to experience anything like that with Josiah - just the normal baby pains with teeth and colds etc.- but we can relate to that determination that just keeps you going, no matter what, just for their sake - again, not that we can properly relate to what you have just experienced. God always uses trials to make us stronger and I am sure that even though this doesn't make much sense at all, God has certainly used this ordeal to grow your strength as parents and your love for Clive. We are praying that Clive continues to get past this and that you have some more pleasant days now. Lots and lots of love.October 15, 2010 - 5:15 am

Alicia Tribby - you guys are doing a wonderful job as new parents is never easy I know! but stay strong and you guys have each other for support Clive is so fortunate to have parents like youOctober 15, 2010 - 1:57 pm

Alicia Tribby - you guys are doing a wonderful job as new parents is never easy I know! but stay strong and you guys have each other for support Clive is so fortunate to have parents like you two. October 15, 2010 - 1:57 pm

Rachael Hansen - I had a hard time watching my son be in pain afterwards as well. He was unhappy for about a month afterwards. But it gets so much easier as time goes on. Just a little note that might be helpful to you. When you change him, you don't need to do anything to the diaper. All you need to do is pull his skin down so it's not covering the head (every time you change him), and lightly put Vaseline on everywhere that is red. It helps so much more with the pain. You do this until the redness goes away. Then every time you change him or bathe him after that you just pull the skin down. And make sure it stays clean. My son is five now, and we still have him while he is bathing or showering clean his private and make sure he pulls the skin back. Good luck you guys. RachaelOctober 15, 2010 - 7:43 am

Chrissy Deming - Poor Clive!!! And Poor you and Lindsay! :( :( It's the absolute worst when your baby is upset and you can't calm them down. I had trouble nursing when my son Lucas was just born. He would cry and cry for hours and my husband and I had no idea what to do. I'd nurse him and think he was getting something, then he would scream until he fell asleep. It was only until the nurse came for a home visit when he was 5 days old and he had lost a pound that she told me he wasn't latching correctly. It broke my heart to know that the whole time he was screaming, he was so hungry. It still breaks my heart to think about it. I thank God that babies don't remember the early days!!!October 15, 2010 - 7:58 am

Bobby Earle - Thanks guys! Brooke: that's terrible! My prayers are with your boys ;) I can only imagine...Gilda: Oh that part isn't that bad for Clive at all. The normal stinging when he pees is nothing for him. He lets out a little cry (the same as when it's too cold in the room for him, for example) only some of the times that he pees and we change his diaper. Then he's happy. The bad part was that third diaper that stuck to his little penis :( -- which we now know was our fault for not putting on vaseline. Ever since applying vaseline, Clive's acting the way he would if he scratched his face with his fingernails. MUCH betOctober 15, 2010 - 3:04 pm

Bobby Earle - Thanks guys! Brooke: that's terrible! My prayers are with your boys ;) I can only imagine...Gilda: Oh that part isn't that bad for Clive at all. The normal stinging when he pees is nothing for him. He lets out a little cry (the same as when it's too cold in the room for him, for example) only some of the times that he pees and we change his diaper. Then he's happy. The bad part was that third diaper that stuck to his little penis :( -- which we now know was our fault for not putting on vaseline. Ever since applying vaseline, Clive's acting the way he would if he scratched his face with his fingernails. MUCH better :)October 15, 2010 - 3:04 pm

Misty - That just took my heart and broke it into a million different pieces. Poor little guy. No matter how much of a break a mom needs, it's just not in us to be able to leave our child when they are crying or in pain. Poor little man. So glad he is doing better. Amazing the overwhelming love we have for these little ones, huh?October 15, 2010 - 9:00 am

Rhonda - Sounds like your past the major pain now, but our friends had a son a couple of months ago and when they had him circumcised, the doctor told them if he seemed to be experiencing pain, they could use the neosporin plus pain relief ointment on it. It definitely seemed to provide some relief for their son.October 15, 2010 - 9:24 am

Dawn Weaver Kahle - Sorry guys! We went through circumcision three times (having three boys :) ). With our first he was very not happy to be strapped to the thingy they strap them too and started yelling which up to this point in his life he had NEVER done (of course he was only 9 days old at the time!) and it was all we could do not to grab him and run out of the room! Eric actually DID have to leave the room which he told me later it was because he had an overwhelming urge to punch the doctor (who was a woman!) and you know him he is a super gentle person! Anyway, the second two were much better and all three healed just fine. We went through like 4 tubes of neosporin in a week with each one because if the gauze stuck even a bit it was traumatic! I so understand! I read somewhere once that having children is like your heart walking around outside your body, totally vulnerable. At the time I thought hmmmmm, a little cheesy but okay NOW I totally October 15, 2010 - 4:54 pm

Dawn Weaver Kahle - Sorry guys! We went through circumcision three times (having three boys :) ). With our first he was very not happy to be strapped to the thingy they strap them too and started yelling which up to this point in his life he had NEVER done (of course he was only 9 days old at the time!) and it was all we could do not to grab him and run out of the room! Eric actually DID have to leave the room which he told me later it was because he had an overwhelming urge to punch the doctor (who was a woman!) and you know him he is a super gentle person! Anyway, the second two were much better and all three healed just fine. We went through like 4 tubes of neosporin in a week with each one because if the gauze stuck even a bit it was traumatic! I so understand! I read somewhere once that having children is like your heart walking around outside your body, totally vulnerable. At the time I thought hmmmmm, a little cheesy but okay NOW I totally agree!October 15, 2010 - 4:54 pm

Larami Serrano - This brings back some really awful memories of my twin boys' SECOND circumcision and now my make-up is ruined. To circumcise when the boys' were born was not even a question-we knew we wanted to do it. But when we found out at the age of one that they were circumcised in correctly (i.e. not at all), deciding to go through it a 2nd time was the most difficult, gut-wrenching decision I've ever made (though I think it was the right one). This post reminds me of that nauseating feeling I got when my boys had theirs at a point where they were old enough to knw and express how much pain they were in. I can still hear the cries and see the squirming 2.5 years later. Be thankful that you got this done and over with and he'll NEVER remember it. Seems like you guys handled it beautifully :).October 15, 2010 - 11:34 am

Sara Kauss - Bobby&Lindsey, your experience brought tears to my eyes sitting in the airport reading your story. I'm so sorry for your experience but appreciate you taking the time to write such a touching dialogue of the trauma. Hugs to you and your little family!October 15, 2010 - 12:29 pm

James Mavis - Hey man, so sorry to hear that you had to go through that with your little angel. Reading about how you feel towards Clive so closely reflects the way I feel towards Jack that it is hard for me to read about something like this. LIke you said, even in hard circumstances like this its best to stay grateful for overall health and well being. Here's hoping that it is a long time before you have to see him go through pain again.October 15, 2010 - 2:08 pm

Kyle - You scared me SO BAD when I read the start of that post!!!! I'm absolutely relieved that Clive is doing better and that he (and you and Lindsay) won't have to go through that anymore. Thank goodness.October 15, 2010 - 2:52 pm

Maurene White - I've heard and gone through that with parents before, (am a nurse, have worked a lot in post-partum). Lots of babies just bleed through the vaseline, even a vaseline dressing and blood is very sticky. I used to cut the diaper rather than pull it off then leave warm wet gauze dressings over the penis until the diaper finally soaked off shred by shred. The big thing was keeping the baby warm, because as water evaporates it takes some body heat with it. I hate to ask, but had'nt you ever thought of not circing. 80% of boys in Cali are intact now, and 67 or 68% in the rest of the US. about 15% in Canada, and in Europe nobody unless they're Jewish and half of Jewish parents just forget it now. Circ is no longer "default" even when the Dad is cut. In pre-natal classes I suggest if look-alike is important for the Dad to restore to look like his little boy - many other plus features too, mobility, sensitivity - it's really gotten quite trendy for people who like to do their research. I have an iPhone app i4SkinHealth and website FarReach.org coming up in a couple of weeks if you want to check them out. Best blessings with Clive and remember warm wet gauze if the wound opens again. Maurene (Mum to 2 and Grandmum to 3) Nurse for nearly 50 yearsOctober 15, 2010 - 5:15 pm

kelly - disgusting and cruel - do you KNOW what you cut off from your poor child?October 15, 2010 - 9:46 pm

Josh - It has to be said, There's no excuse for doing this to your child. You don't own his body. You forever scarred his genitals and robbed him of a body part that by all rights was his to have. For shame. Here's hoping there are better decisions made in his future than disfiguring and maiming a newborn's body forever.October 15, 2010 - 9:52 pm

Tracy - I think you are beating yourself up when you say that it was user error. It isnt user error, it is the procedure. It is completely unnecessary medically and by the comments following it is obviously not that uncommon of a reaction. I hope people will continue to question why we put newborns through this. I feel your pain so much as a new mom myself, but I feel your little boys more.October 15, 2010 - 10:05 pm

Arron Morgan - Why did you feel the need to change your son to begin with? Wasn't he perfect as he was the moment he came into the world? Im sorry he went through so much pain but Im even more sorry you felt the need to change his body without his consent. For the rest of his life he must live with what you chose to take away from him. I say this as a man who has lived a life time with the deformity and disability of an botched circumcision. Please should you ever have more boys, leave them as they, God gave them to you perfect in every way. I beg you.October 15, 2010 - 10:09 pm

Jackie - I stumbled upon this blog, and would like to say a few things, You think this was a traumatic experience for you? I think it was a little bit worse for the baby whose penis just got hacked up, but on to another note. you say "we are planning on raising our kids in the States" --Well the infant circumcision rate is now down to 33% so that means 67% of boys are now left Intact, Thank god. So he actually will be in the minority. You also say you dont think it is genital mutilation Well...mutilation /mu·ti·la·tion/ (mu?t?-la´shun) the act of depriving an individual of a limb, member, or other important part. I would say it IS Mutilation seeing as how is takes away anywhere from 15,000-30,000 fine touch nerves away from the penis, before the child ever gets to experience his penis how it should be. Also if you know penises dont fall off, why not let HIM choose weather or not he wanted a body modification done on HIS penis when he is old enough to decide that for himself. Which to be perfectly honest i think he would want to keep all of his genitals in place. I know i like all mine right where i can see them, and feel them.October 15, 2010 - 10:12 pm

Cyn - Maybe this post will help save other boys from being unnecessarily subjected to this ridiculous procedure. Infant circumcision should be abolished. It's abhorrent that we even allow it to continue in this country, where we're supposedly *so* concerned with human rights ... and yet we routinely strip male babies of their inherent human right to an intact body.October 15, 2010 - 10:18 pm

Lindsey - Uhm...that is absolutely typical of the pain a baby feels during and after having one of the most sensitive parts of their body bring sliced and diced. BTW only 33% of newborns are now circumcised in the USA and the number keeps going down. Why? Cause people are waking up to the fact that this is completely unnecessary cosmetic surgery. Sorry but the myths and misinformation that perpetuate this crap really needs to be pointed out. Hopefully if you have Amy more boys you'll spare them of this retched experience. And no, I'm not an "intactivist" just a mom who did a lot of research when I became pregnant.October 15, 2010 - 10:20 pm

Rachel - Wow... I'm sorry, but from what I just read that makes me sick. As a Jew I find this repulsive, and your so casually stating that 'this isn't normal reaction' is bogus. Actually, many of the posts on here counter that sentiment. The fact that you put your child through this without medical cause is shameful. He was in pain because of your own doing, no other reason. I hope you are satisfied with your decision because he'll inevitably have to LIVE with it. Shame on you and your supporters of male genital mutilation. Shame on you!October 15, 2010 - 10:24 pm

Lindsey - Just realized I have the same name as this poor babies mama. (I'm pretty sure you won't put up my last post, but these things really need to be brought to light so that this ridiculous, culturally sanctioned lopping off of boys genitals is seen for what it is.)October 15, 2010 - 10:28 pm

Caren Lee - Actually this happens quite a lot (wound=dirty diaper=pain). So sorry your little one had to go through this. FYI - circumcision in America this year is at 32% and is predicted to continue to fall each year for the next 5 years where it should be at about 10% in 2015. As it is considered cosmetic surgery (like breast implants) by all health organizations, it will soon not be covered by most insurance companies, so the rate will continue to fall. So your son is in the minority.October 15, 2010 - 10:32 pm

Taylor - Wow, I really can't believe that after all that, you still think that what you did to your son was okay. Honestly, who cares what *you* went through when you decided to have an unnecessary surgery that left your child in excruciating pain? So much for living in the States-- 67% of baby boys in the US WERE NOT circumcised last year, so Clive went through all that suffering just to be in the minority. You really should have done some research before you did this to your child. Wasn't he good enough the way he came out? I normally don't comment on posts of people I don't know, but this one really made my stomach roll. I hope realizing how much you love him keeps you from electing to do this to any future children.October 15, 2010 - 10:33 pm

Heather N - I don't understand how you can justify subjecting your son to cosmetic surgery in his infancy and then defend the choice after expressing all the trauma it caused your son and yourselves. Denial? The latest statistics show that less than half of all boys in the United States are currently being circumcised at birth. So, your son is in the minority. At the end of your post, you made a special effort to express that this was not a "normal byproduct of circumcision". I am just really surprised that you would make such a statement that would encourage others to disregard what happened to your son and choose to have a purely cosmetic and unnecessary surgical procedure (a procedure that carries the risk of death, among many other risks) after just describing how your son's circumcision led to the "worst day of your life". We all make the best choices we can at any given moment. I just would have hoped that instead of using the telling of this experience to justify your choice, you would have offered other people an opportunity to re-think their beliefs about routine infant circumcision and save their babies physical pain now and emotional pain as an adult.October 15, 2010 - 10:33 pm

Melissa C - I find it ironic that you think circ boys are still in the majority in the states - you actually have exactly the opposite of what you wanted - your circ son is in the minority (at 30-32% this year). I think its sad that so many still circ in fear of their son being "made fun of" and yet, it is their son that will be the minority, and be more likely to be made fun of (easy to do - half a man, etc), if they even make fun of kids in the locker rooms anymore. I hear most boys don't look at each other's penises in fear of being thought "gay". Too bad you didn't do any research.October 15, 2010 - 10:49 pm

Rachel - On a second note... the fact that you can honestly write that you didn't have a problem having his 'little weener cut up' is repulsive regardless of if he was given anesthetic. For that comment alone, you should lose custody of your child for blatant neglect and abuse. Honestly, I hope someone saves this blog and shows it to him when he's older. I wonder what he'll think of daddy then? You didn't care about his pain as long as you got what you wanted. You don't deserve him. You are the typical ignorant american man. Had you done your research, you'd also be aware that California has the lowest rates of circumcision in the whole country (20%-30%). But since I assume you didn't care about actual statistics more or less, at least you got what you wanted. A son that looked like you. You are lucky that you have the wonderful wife you do. Had I been carrying your child I would have divorced you as opposed to harm my child. Unlike you, I have dignity and respect for my child. I honestly can't think of anything bad enough to call you. There is however one thing I will be sure to do for you... I have a great deal of family living in San Diego. I'll be sure to tell them to not use your services and pass the word on. We don't support people who abuse their children in this manner. Your company will be put on a waiver for parents that oppose this brand of abuse and we will boycott you since you've decided to make your position so public on this blog. If anything, perhaps this will make you realize that your actions have consequences. I'll leave you with something to ponder... just because you HAVE the right doesn't MAKE IT right.October 15, 2010 - 10:49 pm

Darla - Too bad for your little guy that 68% of the boys in his class will be intact. He's in the minority being circumcised. Too bad you didn't research it first.October 15, 2010 - 10:53 pm

Jamie - As I can see from the other comments left by other "pro-snippers" (and what is common knowledge to those of us up to speed on this topic)complications are very typical and every one of the parents spoke about how horrible it was. Shouldn't that be enough of a clue? If your son had been left as nature intended, none of you would have had to be put through such a traumatic experience. Your story has gone viral and you will probably now be getting flooded with posts from those of us who speak up for the voiceless, innocent baby boys who are put through this needless procedure. Get ready dude!October 15, 2010 - 11:19 pm

James Mac - I do not seek to pass moral judgement. Parents always act in the best interest of the child with the information available to them. I have no memory of my own circumcision or associated pain. What I do have as a legacy of my circumcision is lifetime of psychological distress. A deep and bitter resentment that someone surgically altered and diminished my most private parts and a constant intrusive thought; a wish that I'd simply been left alone and not subjected to a medical procedure before I was too young to speak or defend myself. Perhaps it's just me...October 15, 2010 - 11:27 pm

Michelle - Well at least your dog cares about the baby... *sigh* you basically flat out admitted that you knew there was no reason to do it and hacked up your kid anyway! Like you "wanted" to... Gross. Parenting FAIL!!!October 15, 2010 - 11:28 pm

Nikki - Severe pain and discomfort IS a normal byproduct of circumcision which is hwy the rate has dropped to being only 33% of boys getting circumcized in the US.October 15, 2010 - 11:29 pm

Anon - I'm willing to bet everything I have that the "worst day of your lives" pales in comparison to the day your son had part of his penis amputated without his consent. "Circumcision is painless"? Who fed you that load of BS? Ask your tiny, helpless baby, who depends on YOU to PROTECT HIM whether or not it was painless. Research has shown that, when babies become silent during the circumcision process, they are actually going into shock, which any EMT will tell you is the first thing they try to prevent after a traumatic injury. Oh, wah, boo hoo.... you & Lindsay have to endure the trauma of causing your baby more pain than you already have. It was your fault he's going through this in the first place. Great job, parents. Hope you'll rethink repeating the process if you have any sons in the future. And your ending part about how this isn't common at all is totally wrong. Look at all of the pro-mutilation posts your friends have made. This is completely common & completely preventable.October 15, 2010 - 11:32 pm

J - I love how you started it off by explaining how circumcisions are painless now and then go on for paragraphs about the excruciating pain it has caused your child. I'm guessing he didn't think it was painless. How can you think that this is not normal of circumcision? This happens ALL OF THE TIME. How do you think that a human can get part of their body hacked off and not feel pain? This is barbaric and it most definitely is mutilation. Your poor child's first days of life were violent and painful for no damn good reason. Great job.October 15, 2010 - 11:45 pm

Stassja - I feel obligated to add that this IS a normal reaction to circumcision. I know, my son went through it. Every diaper change, even with the vaseline and no sticking, was hell for him. God forbid we accidentally touch his penis with a wipe. I vowed immediately that we would not repeat this mistake if we had a second son. My second son is a year old today, and I have NEVER regretted the decision to leave his penis the way it was meant to be. I have regretted, daily, fervently, mutilating my first, sweet, beloved son. Aside from the mutilation, it IS a risky, uneccessary procedure. More baby boys die every year to circumcision than to car crashes or suffocation. For no reason whatsoever. I'm not trying to guilt you as parents. I'm not trying to demonize you. I AM you. I made a mistake, with very little info, and the doctors who performed it never told me about the real risks, or the real, long-term affects on a boy from it. There was no informed consent. I hid my head in the sand and told myself everyone does it. But that's just not true. I wish I had known. I am so glad he's feeling better.October 15, 2010 - 11:57 pm

Jacob Duchaine - Wow, having your son's genitals mutilated caused a problem? Shocking. I'm amazed that any bad could have come about, since you don't consider genital mutilation on males to be bad, like it is on females. That means it can't and won't cause him problems like this, and worse in the future, right? I mean, how could anything bad have come of this pointless and evil crime against your baby?October 16, 2010 - 12:54 am

Jessie - Thank you for posting this and re-affirming my choice to keep my son intact.October 16, 2010 - 1:04 am

E - People can be so ignorant. They have inflicted a permanent mental scar on their son's psyche. This creates trust issues in men, even if they don't know it. Babies trust their parents for everything. We respond when they cry for hunger, for comfort, because they are cold, or tired... by responding to those needs, we gain their trust. The trust this poor little boy had in his parents has been damaged. He was intimately wounded, by his parents, and despite their efforts, they could not eliminate his pain. He is forever scarred and I cry for everything he has lost at such a young, tender age.October 16, 2010 - 1:50 am

Lorna Doone - Oh my world. Your son is in my prayers. As are you and your wife. I hope you and she find healing in your own hearts after having your child go through this kind of pain. As a parent myself I can only imagine the torrent of emotional suffering you both must be enduring, seeing your helpless innocent baby hurting so badly. Both of my boys are intact so thankfully, we've never had to deal with this, and after reading this I am hugging my sons and thanking God that we've escaped such trauma. In time the healing will come and I hope you and your wife and son all spend alot of time nurturing and holding each other and really just... being close and loving through it. With Love, Lorna.October 16, 2010 - 2:00 am

jen - I'm sorry for your little baby boy and the unnecessary pain he had to experience! I just want to point out that this is actually a very normal reaction to circumcision. The entire glans of the penis are fused to the foreskin with a membrane similar to the one that fuses your finger nail to the nail bed. In order to cut the foreskin off they first have to use a blunt probe to separate that fused skin. Typically this separation of the foreskin and glans would happen very slowly over childhood with the natural development of the intact penis. When it happens suddenly and prematurely, as with circumcision, the entire head of the penis is raw and wounded from the premature loss of the protective sheath. The bouts of crying and screaming are from when the urine stings the raw wound. When urine hits an open wound it stings badly, ask any woman about this and she will tell you! Some newborns don't respond to pain in the way we think they should, some go into more of a state of shock, so they don't appear in pain but they actually are in pain. It is well-documented that pain response in newborns is not always what we would consider a pain response. Measuring brain activity and cortisol levels is a better indication of newborn pain. So while other newborns maybe don't appear to be in pain, it doesn't mean they aren't. The reason this seemed to start suddenly was probably due to the fact that the nerve block that was used had worn off. Sadly the appropriate drugs and anesthetics needed to help with the pain both during and after this form of surgery are not available to infants, which is just one of the many reasons it is a good idea to leave boys intact so that they can decide over the function and appearance of their most private area when they are a consenting adult. No medical organization in the world recommends routine infant circumcision so it only stands to reason that maybe this is a decision for the owner of the body. Best Wishes, Jen PS. to the poster above with the latch problems. Sometime boys who have been circumcised will refuse to nurse. That is actually another well-documented risk of routine infant circumcision.October 16, 2010 - 2:34 am

Kevin - Far from a "freak accident," extreme pain is a completely common and normal side effect of genital cutting. Go back, re-read your words, look in the mirror, realize the doctors lied to you, start speaking out again infant genital mutilation.October 16, 2010 - 3:02 am

Laura - I know you're not allowing any comments from those who oppose newborn circ Bobby but will you at least allow me to correct a common misconception among your readers? Newborn babies not only feel pain more keenly than anyone else, their nerves carry a memory of it for the long term. Please everyone do read the science. It's an inconvenient truth for those of you who've watched your wounded boys cry and comforted yourselves with the idea that it's temporary damage... But it's a truth nonetheless. http://www.wellcome.ac.uk/News/2009/Features/WTX054083.htm If you are upset at having been fed lies by doctors about this one thing, I do recommend further reading. The thing about circumcision is, the more you know about it the more you're against it! I also suggest reading this and asking yourselves the question, is it ok to snip off a girl's foreskin if I don't like it? http://www.nytimes.com/2008/01/20/magazine/20circumcision-t.html?_r=1October 16, 2010 - 3:19 am

Anonymous - Your son should never have been circumcised!!!!! That is what caused all if his pain in the first place! My son was not circed when he was born and he will have the choice when he is Oder if he wants to do it or not! Your son just lost 15000-30000 nerve endings when you had the procedure done to him and mutilated your sons penis! He will never be the same again and yes he will remember the pain!October 16, 2010 - 4:22 am

Steph :) - One of my most favorite things as a parent, is watching other young couples become parents, it is indeed the most amazing thing going, as you have now discovered. :) The nocirc community shared your blog, I hope they don't give you too much grief. I read beyond the circ post, your photography is amazing. I've always envied photographer parents, even your snapshots are amazing, your ratio of good to bad photos is surely enviable. Congrats on Baby Clive Earle. And very cool about cousin Colin Earle, how cool is that! Enjoy all the fresh baby goodness in your life! :) SMF (An Intactivist who blames doctors, not parents, for the hypocrisy of 'routinely' cutting baby boys while protecting baby girls.)October 16, 2010 - 6:04 am

Kinae - Simple: if you didn't have Clive circumcised, he (and you) would have NEVER experienced the pain. It was a RESULT of the circumcision. According to the CDC only 33% of newborn boys in the US were circumcised in 2009. So, Clive is going to be one of the boys that are made fun of in the locker room for not having his whole penis.October 16, 2010 - 6:22 am

Kinae - Why don't you get your dogs circumcised?October 16, 2010 - 6:23 am

B.John - ((HUGS)). This reminds me so much of when I had my daughter's appendix removed when she was 2 days old. I had already made the decision that we would have it done, but I wasn't prepared for her screams of pain and discomfort afterward. All for the best though... those things can get inflamed and infected, and she won't even remember it anyway, so it's all good.October 16, 2010 - 6:47 am

Franco - Ohhhh, poor little baby, I'm really glad he is doing better now!!! Good thing circumcisions "are painless now". If it was traumatic for YOU to SEE it... Man...October 16, 2010 - 8:10 am

Mikey Vela - soooo sorry bobby, i completely understand about trading your worst pain indefinitely for your sons comfort. i've been there are and that love only grows deeper as your kids get older. blessings to you and October 16, 2010 - 3:15 pm

Mikey Vela - soooo sorry bobby, i completely understand about trading your worst pain indefinitely for your sons comfort. i've been there are and that love only grows deeper as your kids get older. blessings to you and yours.October 16, 2010 - 3:15 pm

Taylor - I just had to throw another one out there, because this post is that disturbing. I read one of your earlier posts where you were so concerned about taking Clive home from the hospital in the car. Well, as it turns out, more infants die every year from circumcision complications in the United States than in car accidents and from suffocation combined. Way to electively risk a tiny life that is entirely dependent on you, I can see how you're *so* concerned for his safety and well-being.October 16, 2010 - 8:21 am

Mike - I hope your son finishes healing quickly, and carries no trauma from the experience! I've had a hard enough time dealing with my 2-month-old boy's occasional screaming fits just from gas pains - it's hard to imagine how much worse it must have been for you and Clive! My wife and I are "anti-snip", but I don't want to argue the issue with you. I just have a hard time reconciling your statements, "[t]hat all the money in the world can’t buy the peace, happiness, and unbelievable contentment that a child so freely brings when he (or she) is safe, healthy, and not in pain," and maintaining a pro-circ stance. You blame yourselves for not using vaseline from the get-go, right? If the hospital didn't give you that care information before discharging your son, I'd blame them. That's not something you should have to figure out on your own! Just let me say I find it very positive and refreshing to read a blog post about real parental love and cherishing our children while we have them, especially from another father. You strike me as someone I would never doubt to make the absolute best decision he can for his kids, so I assume you researched both sides of the circumcision issue before you and your wife decided to allow the surgery, just as my wife and I looked at both sides before deciding not to. I'd love to understand why you still chose to circumcise your son, but I just don't. Again, not trying to debate you here - you've dealt with enough grief over your son's pain and I'm sure the last thing you need is to deal with someone being argumentative and telling you you're a bad parent (which some other zealous "intactivists" might do, but I swear I would only apologize for their verbal abuse!). You're obviously a very loving father and husband, and your family is blessed to have you. ~Mike May God be with you and bless you. May you see your children’s children. May you be poor in misfortune and rich in blessings. May you know nothing but happiness From this day forward. (Irish blessing)October 16, 2010 - 9:40 am

Raven - Okay, first of all, you should not mutilate your baby just "because he lives in the united States". That makes NO sense, whatsoever. In addition, it is a PERMANENT event. I didn't have to know anything about "debates" and whatnot in order to know that permanently damaging my baby;s body was HIS decision, not mine. Whether it is "mutilation" or a "medical procedure" or not is all actually rather irrelevant when making a choice like this... similarly, you should not put a tattoo on an infant, or "baptise" one into any religion, or have metal 'enhancements' inserted into his body, etc... those are all things that affect HIM not you and are HIS choice ONLY. Babies are NOT always given anesthesia during circumcision, AND WHEN THEY ARE it is Tylenol or Motrin. Doctors WILL NOT Give any herbs/non-poisonous medicine nor will they give any stronger chemicals. I don't know if you can across an EXTREMELY RARE hospital that actually did give him anesthesia, or if they cut off the "wrong part" which didn't have nerves or he was too distracted or what. But no, anesthesia is NOT AT ALL common during an infant circumcision. A "doctor" is supposed to tell you to put Vaseline on the stub of the penis after he has cut it off. So this would be another incident of negligent "doctors", who really don't know anything about how to keep people healthy, or if they do they are neglecting to tell you and putting your child in severe pain.October 16, 2010 - 10:16 am

craphead - I really, really don't understand why you did this or your seemingly casual attitude about "cutting his weener." And yet I feel so bad that your baby was in so much pain. I'm sorry and I hope that he heals well and feels better soon. And I hope that if you have another son, you will research this issue and make a different decision.October 16, 2010 - 11:59 am

Claire - This probably wont get posted since you've removed so many other posts of those who are PEACEFUL parents. I just need to say that hearing your story of the pain your son went through broke my heart. Knowing how unnecessary the procedure is and how the stress hormone cortisol is very dangerous to babies, I really feel for any future sons that you have seemed to have learn nothing from this.October 16, 2010 - 12:48 pm

Hugh7 - The US circumcision rate is down around 50%, much less in the south west.October 16, 2010 - 5:48 pm

Anna - what a horrific story.October 16, 2010 - 7:40 pm

Daniel Miller - wow.....................I don't know what to say. I'm 22....and I feel really hurt feelings while reading this post...I can only imagine how bad his intimate life in the future will be because of this. I just don't understand how you have (and had) all of the information about circumcision and still chose to do it...it doesn't make sense...and it's clear you still believe it's the best thing. Lamari's comment really bothered me: "...and he'll NEVER remember it." How do you know that pain isn't subconsciously planted inside of his mind and his mind grows on that pain instead of the wonderful feeling being with his mother is and grow on that? I just don't understand.....I don't want to bash but I really would like to know how an informed person like yourself would still cut it off.... :( can you tell me?...I don't get why we can't decide for ourselves when we're older, why is it so important to do it RIGHT AWAY... :(October 16, 2010 - 10:41 pm

S - I saw that you're getting flamed for this, so I hope you don't think my question is doing the same thing! I'm honestly just curious. I know you said you wanted to adopt your future children, what would you do if you adopted an older boy that was intact? Would you circ all your adopted kids even if they were older or are you planning on just adopting newborns? After having your own do you still want to only adopt future kiddos? I don't have any kids yet, but when I was younger I was obsessed with the idea of adopting from foreign countries!October 17, 2010 - 9:51 pm

Bobby Earle - S: Great question! I wouldn't circumcise him. Out of my dad and two other brothers, some of us are intact and some of us are circumcised. It didn't matter at all so I probably wouldn't at any age over an infant. Not sure until I get there, of course, but that's my hunch :)October 17, 2010 - 10:50 pm

gp9086@yahoo.com - I don't understand why it would matter where you lived to decide whether to circumcise your son, so you are saying that if you lived in Africa and had a girl she would be circumcised. It's Wrong no matter where you live, Didn't you know that the rate of infant circumcisions has declined to only 33% in the United states So he will be the minority ( http://www.drmomma.org/2010/08/us-circumcision-rate-falls-to-33.html. ) You are lucky it didn't kill him a small number of boys die each year around more than 100 in the United stated from complications of circumcision ( http://www.salem-news.com/articles/october172010/circumcision-madness.php.) You permanently altered his body in a negative way permanently altering his sex life when he is an adult. Its all on the internet all you have to do is read it....October 18, 2010 - 5:14 am

Knitted in the Womb - I'm so sorry that this happened to your son. But really, it is not all that much of an unusual thing to happen. Circumcision is NOT painless. Its just a matter of when the pain happens. While the procedure itself may be (or it may not...it is well known in pediatric literature that infants block out pain by going into a semi-comatose state, it is also known that the pain meds given for circumcision result in, at best, a 50% reduction in pain experience for the procedure), the injections of the lidocaine for "pain relief" is exquisitely painful. Having urine contact the open wound for days afterward is exquisitely painful (did your wife tear during the birth? If so...she has a little bit of an idea of how urine on an open wound feels like...now picture marinating in that because your son is peeing into a diaper, not into a toilet with an immediate rinse with a peri-bottle). Most recent data (from 2009) indicates that leaving boys intact is now more common in the US than having them circumcised, and has been for several years...so your boy will be growing up in the minority. Especially when you consider the multi-cultural world that we live in where he will likely go to a college attended by students from all over the world. Heck, perhaps that is part of why the trend is going toward reduced circumcision rates--because today's mother's are more likely to have "been with" intact men in college, and realize it isn't all that bad...and might actually be a better thing.October 19, 2010 - 8:04 am

Nicole - Too bad you were not better informed. One poster says he will never remember it, but perhaps he will know a time of panic and sadness and feeling alone that he won't ever really shake, knowing that the one place he could trust and call home (home=parents), betrayed him in such a personal and terrible way. Unforgivable, really. I feel sad for all three of you. I hope you either a. never have another baby, since it might be a boy -or- b. decide to leave him whole if you doOctober 19, 2010 - 3:28 pm

Bill - Its good to see parents sensitive and perceptive enough to recognize and respond to pain in their baby. Not all parents would have.October 21, 2010 - 3:50 am

Deborah Chandler - We used the sterile Vaseline gauze with our boys and that worked really well as you can wrap it around it and just cut a new strip at every diaper change and put it on with some with some antibiotic cream. You will be amazed how quickly children heal and get over things.October 25, 2010 - 1:38 pm

Stephanie Trevisan Feese - Awww, I am so sorry guys! I totally understand where you are coming from. Both of our boys have had several surgeries and long stays in the hospital. It is just so hard when you feel like there is nothing you can do to help them. I am happy to report that for the most part we have 2 very healthy happy little guys. We have so much to be thankful for even when we have a bad day, I know that some one else has it harder. Love is an amazing thing! Now go glob some goop on those diapers... for like 2 weeks! lolOctober 25, 2010 - 1:38 pm

Brooke Bennett Kinchen - Bobby i finally can say i totally understand. While my boys arent being circumcised yet they are laying in NICU in incubators with wires and needles in them. Its amazing how someone so little can cause you the deepest pain you have "NEVER" ...imagined possible. It's all so crazy how in just one moment of time, their arrival, your whole life of emotions, love, desire and protection can change!!!! So glad your little man has made it through his ordeal..!!! And we cant wait to hold our little monkeys!!!October 25, 2010 - 1:39 pm

Amber Corneto Watson - From my own experience of almost losing my oldest son to a "mystery disease" I find it pretty amazing how our primal instinct kicks in and we will do anything in the universe to fix what is hurting our offspring... Gland he's feeling better :)October 25, 2010 - 1:39 pm

Gilda Adler - we had the same experience. when you have a wound and pee on it, it burns...some kids have higher level of pain tolerance, some lower. it does go away fast...in like 7 days...October 25, 2010 - 1:40 pm

Debbie Spencer Mann - Poor little guy, glad he is doing better!! Being a parent is hard work, it will give you the greatest joy, and sometimes, the greatest sadness. There is NOTHING like seeing your child in pain and feeling helpless....Clive has 2 wonderful and loving parents, he is a lucky little guy!!October 25, 2010 - 1:40 pm

Laura Mosedale - I love being able to read about you guys becoming parents and all of the things that come along with it. Thank you for the way you openly share, and for the way you articulate your feelings. So glad your boy is feeling better :)October 25, 2010 - 1:40 pm

Mike Oechsner - dude reading this actually made me tear up (yea im not all big and tough like you bobby!) just thinking about the pain that iv put my parents thru over the years and all. thanks for sharring puts things in perspective. and im sure clive is gonna LOVE this post when hes in highschool and someone finds it in the old facebook posts ;-)October 25, 2010 - 1:41 pm

Alicia Tribby - you guys are doing a wonderful job as new parents is never easy I know! but stay strong and you guys have each other for support Clive is so fortunate to have parents like you two.October 25, 2010 - 1:41 pm

Bobby Earle - Thanks guys! Brooke: that's terrible! My prayers are with your boys ;) I can only imagine... Gilda: Oh that part isn't that bad for Clive at all. The normal stinging when he pees is nothing for him. He lets out a little cry (the same as when... it's too cold in the room for him, for example) only some of the times that he pees and we change his diaper. Then he's happy. The bad part was that third diaper that stuck to his little penis :( -- which we now know was our fault for not putting on vaseline. Ever since applying vaseline, Clive's acting the way he would if he scratched his face with his fingernails. MUCH better :)October 25, 2010 - 1:41 pm

Dawn Weaver Kahle - Sorry guys! We went through circumcision three times (having three boys :) ). With our first he was very not happy to be strapped to the thingy they strap them too and started yelling which up to this point in his life he had NEVER done (o...f course he was only 9 days old at the time!) and it was all we could do not to grab him and run out of the room! Eric actually DID have to leave the room which he told me later it was because he had an overwhelming urge to punch the doctor (who was a woman!) and you know him he is a super gentle person! Anyway, the second two were much better and all three healed just fine. We went through like 4 tubes of neosporin in a week with each one because if the gauze stuck even a bit it was traumatic! I so understand! I read somewhere once that having children is like your heart walking around outside your body, totally vulnerable. At the time I thought hmmmmm, a little cheesy but okay NOW I totally agree!October 25, 2010 - 1:42 pm

Mikey Vela - soooo sorry bobby, i completely understand about trading your worst pain indefinitely for your sons comfort. i've been there are and that love only grows deeper as your kids get older. blessings to you and yours.October 25, 2010 - 1:42 pm

Nicole Cauffman - Babies are the cutest little things ever, but also one of the scariest things too! Glad he's doing better!October 25, 2010 - 1:43 pm

Lotta Ringqvist - Read it earlier today. Poor little fella. Nice to hear he's better though!October 25, 2010 - 1:43 pm

Rebecca Ann - so happy to hear that sweet clive is feeling better. poor boy. you guys are amazing parents! he is one lucky guy! :)October 25, 2010 - 1:43 pm

Rebekah Gonzalez - oh geez...im sorry you had to go thru that :(October 25, 2010 - 1:44 pm

Jen Johnson - Poor lil monkey!October 25, 2010 - 2:04 pm

Joanna - I didn't know your post was called "I don't know how to be a father, PLEASE leave me a comment telling me how to be one!" geez, people. Calm down. I'm glad your little one is doing much better guys!October 25, 2010 - 6:38 pm

Paula - Thanks for sharing your story, even if it's very heartbreaking. Those parental instincts are something else, aren't they? I'm sorry there are so many rude people commenting here trying to make you feel guilty about a decision you already made. I hope he is feeling better by now. Good Luck!November 3, 2010 - 6:39 pm

amanda - Ugh - I just read this post and some of the comments--not all of them, because some of the things being said were so awful and deliberately hurtful toward you guys that I actually had to stop reading. I don't get how people who are trying to present themselves as humanitarians or something can say things like some of these people did. Why is that people who think they have the highest moral standards are always the ones who shake my faith in humanity the most?November 8, 2010 - 7:16 am

Claudine - I just have to say (and shame on some of these people commented, despite their "good" intentions, and I know this is really old but I had to comment) that I can tell Clive is so INCREDIBLY LUCKY to have you and your wife as parents. I can tell you shower him with so much love and joy and that he also brings so much to your lives. I hope when my fiance and I become parents we will be as great as you two are. I really commend you, and how you share some things from your life and your thoughts, despite how controversial they can be. Good on ya! I too agree that the most important thing is the relationship his parents have, people need to remember that. :)March 13, 2013 - 10:04 pm

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